Eau du spring

Paige, Jason, Kyra and I were running errands when it finally stopped pouring and started sprinkling. We rolled down the windows to feel the raindrops and breeze. I asked, "What does it smell like?"

Paige was the first to the buzzer. "Snail slime. And it kind of stinks."

"Do you want me to roll up the windows?"

"No, because now it's starting to smell good, like clean dirt."

We left the windows cracked until the next downpour started.

And for an RIP encore...

Paige came in while I was changing a diaper and asked, "What do snail moms give their kids when they misobey?"

"I have no idea," says I patiently, not really paying attention since no blood was gushing from anywhere and there was no smell of smoke in the air.

"Slime outs."

I paused with the (clean) diaper hanging in the air to think about what just came out of my 4 year old's brain. She was grinning like a chimpanzee.

"Where did you learn that joke?" I was casually trying to do fasten the aforementioned diaper without looking overtly curious. It doesn't happen often that Paige is the bearer of never-before-heard jokes, although a little mistranslation is nothing new.

"In (pause to run down the hall and return with magazine in hand) this Ranger Rick." We got a new one in the mail a week ago and it looks like she's already zipped through the joke page. I knew she could read well, but I didn't think her comprehension was THAT good when it came to knee slappers.

I like my kids. :-)

In memory of the recently departed

The kids' favorite joke is -

There was a snail who slimed over to a car lot and said, "I need to buy a car."
The salesman said, "What kind of car are you looking for?"
The snail said, "A fast car with the letter S painted on the side."
The salesman said, "Why do you want the letter S on your car?"
The snail said, "So that everyone who sees me will say 'Look at that S car go!'"

The end

;-)

So glad I'm not French

Jeff did have two whole years in Belgium and France to try escargot, but in spite of even specifically asking for it at meals, no one was willing to make it for him (they didn't want to have to eat the critters with him). But for those who enjoy the so-called delicacy, come on by anytime before next Tuesday when the garbage man stops by and pick up a baggie or two out of our trash. We've got enough to feed the entire neighborhood... and there are more where those came from. It rained all night long and was still overcast this morning, leaving the little snails living in our yard in a quandary. They're supposed to go home during daylight hours but the sun never came out so that left them climbing up and down walls & fences and wandering across walkways just as the kids woke up.

I promised they could go to Thanksgiving Point to buy something from the farm if they did their jobs and had enough money earned to buy the toys they wanted. Those who didn't had to earn it in whatever way they could. The fastest-paying job around here is snail catching. Paige is the grand master, but the rest of them are pretty good, too. All together, within an hour they had picked up over 180 snails (Jason and Paige stopped counting after 15 or so because they were more worried about the snails climbing up and out the bag, but they average about 30 apiece on normal mornings). At a nickel for each snail or slug they all made enough to buy prizes - including a stuffed horse, peacock feather, plastic dog, and little sea shells. Seriously, if anyone wants to hire some expert anti-pest-os, these kids come pretty cheap!